Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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