please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
