Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This is my gift to your gina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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