you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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