last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
