White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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