I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
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it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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