he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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