apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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