Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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