break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
