I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She told me I should be a condom model.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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