We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
