we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
