bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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