u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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