"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize