Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
