This is not my ceiling
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
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Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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