i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
