so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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