yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
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I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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