Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize