it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
