I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
