If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
