okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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