Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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