I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
