Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
