i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize