it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
