tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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