We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
