Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
