they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
