In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
