Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
