Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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