apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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