My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
