i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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