put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize