if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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