There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
