you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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