i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?