So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night