even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead