You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
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Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
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I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?