I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
