So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
