Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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