there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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