Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Who wears a wallet chain?!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
