No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
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My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
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You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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