I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
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You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize