talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize