whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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