You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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