gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
