i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
